Do the three little words "Bless your heart" take the sting away, the bite less painful, the insult more acceptable. Here are a few I'd love to try out...of course I wouldn't.
Bless your heart.....
* You ate that cookie in front of everyone, don't you know cookies and candy are to
be eaten under the cover of darkness in your CLOSET!
* It's not a social life if you never leave the computer.
*NO that outfit does NOT make you look thin. Who lied to you?
* Yes lumpy and bumpy are shapes here in the country.
* Your friends aren't jealous of you they just think you're a bitch.
* Darlin' those sunglasses make you look like a man.
* That's a napkin you can use it now, no need to save it for later.
* Why wouldn't you give a hundred percent, what else is acceptable??
* a Xanax and several glasses of wine...this should be interesting.
* You thought you had a date with destiny...oh darlin' it looks like
you've been dating Ronald McDonald.
* Your family Christmas card looks like a Sear's ad...Oh Sorry you were going for JCrew. Maybe next year.
* my dogs eats better than most people.
* You mean some women DO NOT have a Louis Vuitton?
* We can not be friends if you do not love lip gloss, mascara, and all things
Tory Burch as much as I do.
* I prefer ugly on the inside...please keep it there.
*Red shoes are for five year old little girls and hookers.
* Camouflage is NOT cute on everything. It's barely acceptable on men and little boys.
* There is so much about you I do not want to know.
*your not busy your boring.
* Your not ready for bathing suit season, just tell everyone you can't swim and stay inside.
*you don't like to sweat...I can tell.
* You say overachiever like it's a naughty word.
*After I asked you how you were, I stopped listening.
* You asked for my opinion....were you not prepared to cry?