Monday, April 23, 2012

Bless Your Heart


Do the three little words "Bless your heart"  take the sting away, the bite less painful, the insult more acceptable.  Here are a few I'd love to try out...of course I wouldn't.

Bless your heart.....

* You ate that cookie in front of everyone, don't you know cookies and candy are to
be eaten under the cover of darkness in your CLOSET!

* It's not a social life if you never leave the computer.

*NO that outfit does NOT make you look thin. Who lied to you?

* Yes lumpy and bumpy are shapes here in the country.

* Your friends aren't jealous of you they just think you're a bitch.

* Darlin' those sunglasses make you look like a man.

* That's a napkin you can use it now, no need to save it for later.

*  Why wouldn't you give a hundred percent, what else is acceptable??

* a Xanax and several glasses of wine...this should be interesting.

* You thought you had a date with destiny...oh darlin' it looks like
you've been dating Ronald McDonald.


* Your family Christmas card looks like a Sear's ad...Oh Sorry you were going for JCrew. Maybe next year.

* my dogs eats better than most people.

* You mean some women DO NOT have a Louis Vuitton?

* We can not be friends if you do not love lip gloss, mascara, and all things
Tory Burch as much as I do.

* I prefer ugly on the inside...please keep it there.

*Red shoes are for five year old little girls and hookers.

* Camouflage is NOT cute on everything. It's barely acceptable on men and little boys.

* There is so much about you I do not want to know.

*your not busy your boring.

* Your not ready for bathing suit season, just tell everyone you can't swim and stay inside.

*you don't like to sweat...I can tell.

* You say overachiever like it's a naughty word.

*After I asked you how you were, I stopped listening.

* You asked for my opinion....were you  not prepared to cry? 




3 comments:

  1. You always make me laugh...out loud!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Once again it has been hard for me to comment, since I am laughing so hard I hurt!!

    You are too much.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is just bitchy

    ReplyDelete