Friday, June 1, 2012

I blog because...

What to blog about , I can not be sure anymore. Sure this is my blog, and I will be the first to admit that by deciding to blog you open yourself up to ANYTHING. By anything I mean crazy people, judgemental individuals, hateful other bloggers, and opinion after opinion after opinion of what is wrong with what I wrote. Funny thing is what I write is only my opinion and I am forcing it on NO one. If you are reading this you are doing so of your own accord. 
I recently admitted on my blog to hating barbecue. Who could possible care that I hate barbecue,  well you would be surprised. Apparently if your husband and his family own a business that revolves around meat (like mine does) you are not allowed to admit you hate barbecue.  Now does their business revolve around barbecue, NO! They do serve a few barbecue items on their lunch menu and their sausage can be cooked and serve as a barbecue dish, but they also sell hamburger meat, steaks, etc...
So for the record I HATE BARBECUE (I consider it satin's food, the fire, smoke, etc...) but I LOVE meat, I could eat a hamburger everyday, steak is yummmmmmmmmy and sausage is great cooked anyway that doesn't include fire.  Does it mean I do not support my husband and his families business because I hate barbecue? I think NOT,  I'd eat meat everyday of the week if I thought it was a good idea. So I have just wrote an entire paragraph defending my hate of barbecue because I was crucified for saying I hate it in a previous post.  What a waste of time. Does this give you any idea of the level of intelligence I am dealing with from some people? 
I just wrote an entire paragraph on barbecue, that is pathetic.

I blog because on top of all that the past year has brought out my "anonymous" follower. I would say stalker, they (she) prefers "fan" my only objection to calling her a "fan" is that most would agree with me when I say stalker and not fan, a fan would not threaten to harm you or your children, a fan would leave their name and not hide behind anonymous, a fan would be encouraging and friendly, not scary and hateful. A fan would leave comments enjoyed by all not ones that are unpublishable. A fan would send words of encouragement not write in your driveway "I am watching you".   So why do I blog...

At this point I could say I blog to piss off my anonymous fan/stalker, or maybe I blog to irritate all the barbecue lovers. My blog is the torn in my parents ass, the nail in my brothers shoe, and the ulcer in my husband's stomach. So why do I blog...

I'd love to tell my neighbor to mow her yard, take her Christmas angel off her front porch and gas her dogs (they are horrible, horrible animals and I LOVE dogs!). But my husband has strongly suggested that I NOT tell her those things. I'd love to!!!!! Since it has been suggested that she may take those suggestions the wrong way so I blog about it.

I have really been tempted lately to call up another parent and tell her that her son is a pervert. Again my husband and a friend has said that even though it is true the parents of the child would react badly. To that I say - NO KIDDING, who is going to take that news well, but I'm pretty sure he's on the road to being incarcerated. Consider the call an intervention.

I blog about wanting to tell the man at the tire place that I am totally and completely stupid when it comes to tires, but GIVE ME A BREAK how do I need a new set of tires when the ones on my car are ten months old!!!!! I actually wanted to tell him where to stick the new tires he was suggesting I needed, but instead I left with NEW TIRES! I am a total idiot, but you can all let your children ride in my car without the fear of a blow out or slipping on a wet road.  High pressure sells, NO, but suggest the idea of driving down the highway with my children in the car and having a blow out and the guilt kicks in and I'm buying tires. Yay!!!!!!!

I blog because I told a woman that she had already told me the story she was repeating and she continued anyway, so I told her that it was boring the first time and I'm not standing around for a repeat performance.  Sure that is mean, but listening to the story again would have been painful for anyone.

Blogging allows me to say that if I do not speak to you, the chances are I do not want to and probably because I do not like you. Be real people, I'm not saying be rude, but I am saying don't waste your time. If you don't like me, keep walking ( I would, I do) how is that rude, it makes sense. Time is precious, a fake chat is just that fake. Oh and please do NOT hug me. Hugs are for my children period the end. If you are an adult greet me with hi, hello, how are you, a handshake but not a hug nothing more than our hands should touch when greeting each other and I'd actually prefer not to shake hands. It's not a germ thing, I just see no point in. A hug is sign of effection and endearment not the universal sign for "How ya doing."  I have a neighbor who always wants to hug it hug out, to her I say, STOP. When the person you are hugging is trying to not touch you in any way shape or form, they are hating every minute of it.

I blog because the day I post something new several friends call asking if I was talking about them.  That is funny stuff. No I do not write about my friends. Most of the people I write about are people I come in to contact with in my everyday interactions.  Like the Walmart cashier who had no idea what extinct meant, how could we not ask her "Are you kidding?"  Or to the woman who ask if her rhinestone MOM tank top was cute, why was she shocked or offended when I said, "NO" she asked me, I told her.  It's like the question that begins, "What do you think about..."  that is a trick question, if you honestly like whatever it is then you are golden, if not, most people would lie, I don't and then I become the b*&%h. For the record, don't ask me the "What do you think about...." question.  I think I do not care and you do not really want my honest opinion, so in that case it's lovely, buy a 100 of them, paint your entire house that color, please wear that striped skirt, sure blue mascara is fabulous, no carnations are not funeral flowers, blah, blah blah WHO CARES, don't ask!

I blog because I do not have a job, I have not be given my own business or handed down a family one. I have not figured out how to do all that is expected of me and work a full time job, plus I have an issue with leaving my children since I was almost killed as a child at the hands of babysitter. Sorry but it is TRUE, the idea of leaving my children in the care of someone other than immediate family SCARES me to death. STOP, STOP, STOP with the hateful comments I do not own my own business nor have I been given one. My husband and his family have a business, my name is no where a part of that, for the record I do not have a key to the front door and do not know the recipe. Nor do I work with or for my family. For whatever reason it's not an option, I'm pretty sure I was left on there door step. My brother is probably shooting smoke out of his ears and my mom is trying to decide on calling me or not and telling me "How could you write that, what will people think?"   Who cares.

I blog because I can, you can, anyone can. It's funny how you can do something for a while and most people in your life not notice or like what it is your doing. But win an award and suddenly it's great, your great, keep it up.  I don't get it, so I might as well blog about it.

I blog because who would read the book if I wrote one.

Lots of limes,


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