Valentine's Day is next week and we will not be doing anything romantic. I'm honestly not into the whole romance thing, unless it's wrapped in a brown box with the words - Louis Vuitton, that would be totally romantic (shocking also). Throw rose petals on my white bed and I might freak out! Okay, I did freak out (on the inside), red rose petals can stain white bedding.
Nothing is like it seems in the movies. Save the rose petals, sweet but messy.
Any who, this Valentine's Day we will be spending the holiday of fat babies with arrows at the San Antonio stock show, where Pookie will be doing her thing with her horses. Totally fine with me, she loves those horses and we love her, it's a win, win! All I need is one of those fat babies to shoot her horses with an arrow carrying a blue ribbon.
Since Valentine's Day is fast approaching I thought it would be fun and make more sense if we (The Judge and I, I haven't brought this up to him yet.) made our own cards for one another. Trust me, there is not a card out there that could say it better. Plus I hate those cards, you know the ones...I love you, you are the light of my life, what a miracle it was that I met you, Happy Valentine's Day. PUKE!!!!! Of course you love your spouse, lets be creative, funny and honest people.
Some possible ideas for cards:
I'm Awesome, You're welcome - Happy Valentine's Day
I can't believe I'm not sick of you yet - Happy Valentine's Day
I'd share the last Diet Coke with you...only a sip. Happy Valentine's Day
I love you more than a poke in the eye.
Tonight's the night...you get to do the dishes! Happy Valentine's Day to me!
This Valentine's Day I'm going to give you what you really want... bot-ox!
When you snore now, I only want to to put the pillow over your face half the time. The other half of the time it's when you fart in your sleep.
That's gotta be love, Happy Valentine's Day.
You look so good Naked...10 years ago. Happy Valentine's Day
I wouldn't trade you for a box of puppies...Your housebroke!
You're my favorite husband.
Love is weird...so are we.
I would donate my non-essential organs to you - Happy Valentines Day
love you...most of the time
Let's spice things up...you cook! Happy Valentine's Day
We go together like cowboy boots and high heels...both are shoes, right! Happy Valentine's Day
From the moment I saw you I knew - we could irritate each other for life.
you're sweet... occasionally
We go together like: (pick one)
camping and head lice
golf clubs and lightening
snickers bars and a fat ass
a toothless man and moonshine
honey boo boo and sub titles
patron and limes
rednecks and NASCAR
Lance Armstrong and Performance-Enhancing Drugs
Kim Kardashian and Attention
Oprah and Gale
meat and cheese
kittens and youtube videos
Make a funny card for your Valentine, step out of the traditional box and be silly.
Happy Valentine's Day,