Monday, March 24, 2014

"What's a Mother To Do" part 2

If you are here looking for the post "What's a Mother to DO?" I have removed it. After four years of blogging I can say that I have never taken down a post. I have been asked to remove a few post in the past and have always stuck to my guns and left them up. So why did I this time...I stand by what I wrote in the post I removed but was asked by someone that I respect tremulously to take it down. I removed the post for her and her only.
It's a struggle for me and I am extremely disappointed in myself for removing it but again I respect the woman that asked and understand her reasons, although I do not agree. My motherly instinct is CRUSHED and I feel like I have let down my children and definitely have let myself down. But once again I ask, What's a Mother to DO?

20 comments:

  1. I know what's in your heart but you did the right thing. Praying for the children and families.

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    1. I wish I felt like I did. I am so upset with myself for removing what I wrote.

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  2. I am so impressed that you took down the post. You have have
    the courage of your convictions, yet an open mind to listen to someone you respect. This is a great combination. I read the first post and felt your angst....but I also thought there must be some tragic story behind this boy's behavior. Not excusing it or saying it is safe, but who are his parents and what is the back story there. You are a Mom warrior protecting your children, who have to face things that we never had to face. I am sure this will work out and you will be there to
    secure safety for the children being threatened. I feel sad that schools have come to this.....it's challenging enough!

    Take care, Kathleen

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    1. Kathleen,
      Thank you. First let me say I do not know this particular families back story or history. My only interaction with his mother was at school functions and activities and I did not find her pleasant ( I am sorry to say). Actually not pleasant isn't fair, I feel like all my interactions with her at practices, school, etc.that I never heard anything positive from her and her child was never at fault. It got to a point where I intentionally tried to keep distance and space between us. I felt extremely uncomfortable around her.
      Now, as far as writing what I did and then removing it...thank you for your words of encouragement. I have been more than upset with myself for caving in and removing what I wrote. But I did remove it and I can say I do not believe I would have contacted someone and asked them to remove anything off of their blog. I am offend at the request but I obviously did it and have to stand by that as well. thank you.
      TIkaa

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    2. TIkaa,
      Well, your description of your interactions with the mother is in itself a 'back story'. This childs behavior started somewhere and I think you found where.....so it becomes a situation of finding the right person(s) to approach the parents and take some action. When we lived in Sugar Land, the 'no tolerence' rule was so strickly imposed, that this would have been an actionable offense right away. I hope your school is the same.
      I am surprised that someone would ask you to take a post down....as Miss Janice shared on her blog(about her own blog/instagram), it's your blog, you can post whatever you want! I am still impressed that you removed the post and can now pursue it privately.(I'm sure your husband is a great source of advice and suggestions) Take care and remember those deeeeeep cleansing breaths!

      Warmly, Kathleen

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  3. While I can understand both the 'need-to-post' and the 'need-to-remove', I feel terrible for you having to make that decision. I felt like you genuinely spoke from your heart and shared real concerns. Concerns that help all of us to be more aware and proactive. I'm sure that the removal of the post was appreciated by the person who asked - and only hope that you are able to find peace with your difficult decision. In the end, I'm sure everyone only wants what is best for ALL the children and families involved - I guess we all just have different ways and needs of expressing ourselves. I feel like you can be proud of both your decision to post, AND your generous and thoughtful decision to remove. Both actions illustrate that you truly just want to do what is best for everyone involved - your children and ALL the other precious kiddos, too! Kudos and thanks!

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    1. TRUE! I am have had an internal wrestling match with myself the last day and a half. I was trying to be respectful to the woman that asked me to remove the post. Her intension was to protect the school and the family in question. Again I do not agree with her, respecting someone and agreeing with them can be two far different things. I respect her, I do not agree with her.
      I am having a huge internal struggle and my disappointment is far greater than this particular woman or anyone else will ever know. I wrote what I did strictly out of concern for my child as well as all the other children in his class, school and our town.
      Thank you for your kind words,
      tikaa

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  4. You say that you wrote the message strictly out of concern for your child and the other children in his class. But you obviously dont care about the child in question who is terrible. The parents must have some kind of good judgement if they are choosing to go to the same school you chose. Social slandering is not helpful, leave it up to the news.

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    1. Go Girl when it comes to the safety and well being of children we have to stick our necks out for what is right! The child's protection is what comes first! If we dont make each other aware of what is going on we cant change it!

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    2. OMG your part one was a serious allegation against not only the child but the family and the school! Viral Gossip will not only taint these people and school but will also taint YOUR reputation and YOUR child's! My advice-Go at it the right way and alert the authorities of school, county etc. and let them handle it, because the viral gossip is gonna come back to get you as well as them. Be careful, I had to learn this the hard way, and I lost lots of respect and friends!

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    3. Dear Anonymous -
      Thank you, your concerns are heard loud and clear. I completely get what you saying and 100% agree. Sincerely I do.
      You advice - "Go at it the right way.." I appreciate you saying this, for the record I did alert authorities at the school and absolutely reported to the county. Without a doubt they were informed from the beginning.
      I read your comment for the first time at a baseball game tonight, where I sat in fear, fear of this family. I hear what you are saying and I agree, and will be letting the authorities involved handle everything. I should have given posting a longer thought. I live in fear and that is not fun.

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  5. Dear Tikaa -- do not be hard on yourself. The nice thing about being in a small town, as I know, is that we are sort of in a bubble. I live in a small town as well and it is always shocking to me when parents don't realize the devastation that their ill-behaved children are creating. When my child was a senior in high school, one student was such a bully and distraction that children were asking, on their own, to be removed from his classes. His father spent every waking hour at the little league baseball field fulfilling his own ego -- his poor, horribly-behaved son was not a baseball player. The father is a bully as well. This was 5 years ago -- I am still mad about it, even though the kid didn't bully my son, it is just incomprehensible. Your honesty in your post might have been the wake-up call that the parents of the child in your community needed. I hope somoene sent it to them. You are an incredible mother -- I can't believe all you do for your family and friends. Also -- if you need a few blog ideas -- could you please give us a tour of your home, so that we can see the progress of your collections and can you teach us how to make the sparkly monogrammed insulated cups (I think you made them :) XO, C. Jones

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    1. C. Jones,
      I couldn't agree more, I DO need to do a new blog post on some of the new projects I am working on, parties I have planned and my up coming trip to Europe. Thank you for your support and understanding, it helps tremendously.

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  6. I am so disappointed to read these comments written about a child and his mother. You really should be ashamed of yourself for using this format to hurt people. Please be more responsible or stop blogging!

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    1. Ashamed, uh NO. Get the facts and all of the story before you tell me to be ashamed. Using this format to hurt people is laughable, it's so simple...if you don't like what I write then don't read it. Stop blogging, how about you stop reading. But then again it's easy for you to pass judgement, hiding behind Anonymous.

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  7. Tikaa,

    First, let me say that you're a hateful, ungodly idiot. You and you 100 readers on your free Blogger account may not know Jesus, but He knows you. He says that if anyone causes a child to stumble, they're going to suffer in hell.

    Your post was awful, hateful, and sinful, and I hope that you suffer for it as the child and his family have.

    I know you'll delete this post since people like you never let anyone else have a say when you post sinful comments like you did and make accusations to CPS like you did, but at least I know that you'll read it since you're vain enough to read all four of the comments you receive every day.

    Your kids, if they're lucky, will grow up, see through you, and distance themselves from their upbringing.

    But, from their pictures, I suspect they won't be smart enough to do so.

    The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, you see.

    Jesus hates your actions. And if you persist in your ungodly behavior, I fear He has a surprise for you.

    You owe that family an apology. And even if they forgive you, I still hope that someday you suffer for what you've done.

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    1. You should be ashamed of yourself Lee Warren. I am assume you are a Christian by your comments. Why would you say hateful things about her innocent children and them reprimand her for what she did. Shame on you!! Your not representing a Christian very well at all.

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  8. You keep patting yourself on the back, for taking down the original post. BUT you are still weaving a wicked web, I realize you are trying to send the Spider in that families way/direction, but you need to STOP and take a look around because the web is circling around you not this deeply hurt child and their family. The Spider will get you and your family! Being the UP and ON TOP of it parent that you claim to be should be using this social media energy to educate your children and yourself on how to handle this situation in a Christian matter not make excuses! You would all be better people to learn, be aware and appreciate, rather than accuse and make excuses!

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    1. I didn't post again,Lee Warren came after me. I had to post he/she basically gave me no choice, he or she sent me the following: I know you'll delete this post since people like you never let anyone else have a say when you post sinful comments like you did and make accusations to CPS like you did, but at least I know that you'll read it since you're vain enough to read all four of the comments you receive every day.

      Gee what did you want me to do?? I can't be expected to take a comment like Lee Warren's or yours and not defend myself. I don't have a problem with your response or Lee's. I don't hide behind anonymous, it's 100% easy to send me emails/comments that are negative. I also made that decision the day I started blogging, but here's the thing...if you don't like what I have to say, write or how I feel about my blog post then don't read it. It's very simple. On top of everything else you as well as Lee do not know what the other children in the class suffered, and I did not share all the details. I do feel horrible for this child, he needs everyone's support and positive energy but I am not his parent and I can not get that help or support for him. I can make sure my child is not suffering at the hands of that child anymore. As far as the CPS claims, I do not know what that is about. Yes I did report the very, very, very scary images and incidents to the police. I had to. If they were not scary and serious the police would not have taken a report. I am SO happy that you have not had to experience what we have had this year, or more importantly I am so thankful that your child has not had to experience what mine and 15 or more others had to this school year. NO child should. Our children were scared to death...literally. No amount of prayers was changing that, our class and school was not equip to help this child. You know, why do I bother, you are not going to understand our side of this or take a second to see that what you think you know or have been told may not be a true representation of all the events.

      Peace be with you.

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  9. Tikka you could take all of these, as well as, this mornings post down and start fresh. This would show people you care. Maybe this would bring healing and peace. Love your Citadel post. Let's see more of those:)

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